I have yet to log a blog in 2011 - not that I have some sort of cult following or group that follows my every word, but I feel rather remiss that I have yet to do so...until today.
I must admit that the tail end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 were rather tumultuous in various ways, in my topsy-turvy crazy world I just could not find the time, effort, motivation or desire to sit down and pontificate on the seemingly meaningless drivel I normally come up with. I was overwhelmed with the life changes that lay ahead, stricken down with grief at the loss of my father and then with the gentleness of a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, I found myself facing a relocation to yet another locale where I would be forced to start over for the second time in less than 2 years.
Whirlwind sounds nice, it was more like a tornado. Just as I was beginning to emerge out being entombed in grief I was heading at break-neck speed to another big change in the life of our family...it seemed all too fast, it still does. I feel bruised and battered and I am sure the bags under my eyes do indicate that I have not escaped this journey unscathed. The myriad of comments that would leave me to believe this include, "gee you look really tired" after I've gotten what I considered a good night's sleep or "having a tough day?" when I finally feel like maybe today is the day I won't cry over missing my Dad. Most people mean well, so it is best to chalk it all up to just looking like hell and leaving it at that.
I have complete anonymity here and that is a comfort - there is no chance of running into someone I know at the store, so if I go out looking like I need a nap and a shower and a hot meal - so be it. I am struggling with finding the motivation to plant roots here in Ohio, but then again, it is too damn cold here to starting digging to plant those roots anyway...LOL.
The year ahead has so many blessings and opportunities in store and with it comes the challenges as well - but I know this year will allow me the chances to grow in different ways (joined the YMCA, so there better not be any literal growth of me, LOL) and I am prayerful that with time I will feel like I am home here. My Dad would tell me to suck it up - so, here's to trying that out!
I do not have any words of inspiration to add to this entry, just more drivel, right?
I am making myself a promise to get back to blogging - the catharsis of the blog feels akin to the purge of crap we made before we moved here - sometimes it feels better to lighten the load.
Here's to your load being lightened. :)
1 comment:
Your strength astounds me, Katie. You've had a hell of a year and I'm praying that things slow down/get easier for you soon. BTW...I know I don't see you daily, but I can't imagine you looking anything other than FANTASTIC!!! :)
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