Friday, July 6, 2012


Hours behind the wheel of the car gives you plenty of time to think, consider, ponder, pontificate, pray and listen.  Above the cacophony of my children's giggles, yells, play and DVD selections, I am given a work day's worth of time to just focus on the road and give my life a thorough once-over in my mind.

I am struck time and time again that just when I think I have it all together, I find myself back on my knees trying desperately to put the pieces back together again. 

There is something catastrophic about being humbled to your knees as everything around you falls apart - it feels like getting kicked in the chest and as the wind escapes your chest and you gasp for air, you wonder how anything will ever feel right again.  It is devastating and yet the most beautiful process that a human can endure.  While you cling to the hope that life will be returned to how it was before it all fell apart, you soon realize that nothing will ever be the same.  To return to the same life before the brokenness would ultimately lead you back into catastrophe, right?  So, sit in the brokenness and revel in the pieces of life that have fallen around at your feet and then let the God that relentlessly pursues your very heart catch you, mend you and heal you.

He is relentless in His love, relentless in His grace, relentless in His mercies. Our ability to be independent from Him does not negate His desire for us to be dependent on Him, our wanderlust for the things of this world does not deny us the enormity of salvation, our brokenness and weakness is made perfect in Him. He is relentlessly patient for me to turn to Him as things fall apart and surrender it all at the foot of the cross.

I find myself, after a thorough once-over is that He is my healer. I lift my hands and praise Him for being relentless. His healing has given me a life far beyond my own hands could ever create, a life far better than before, a life that could never have been mine if not for the catastrophic brokenness. I gave myself over to Him as a broken sinner, shamed, disgraced, bound and broken - miraculous and beautiful, restored to anew as His child, His daughter and His masterpiece. The beautiful process of destruction was all part of reclaiming me, part of freeing me from bondage and bringing to light to whom I truly belong. The theme of His relentless love for me has echoed in post after post, He says to me, "You are mine."

He is relentlessly seeking you too. Too much of a blessing not to share.

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