Tuesday, September 29, 2009

31 years and 9 months ago my in-laws made a miracle...

Happy Birthday to my hub! The miracle that God gave the Beatty family 31 years ago today is the one of the brightest spots of my day. From his newly balded head to his beaming smile, this man is my biggest fan, my best friend, my most confidential confidante, my angel in a Lowe's vest -LOL! He has been there at my weakest and at my darkest hour and stood beside me for the last 8 years making my life journey with him rewarding, challenging, delightful, joyful, sometimes a hot mess, but mostly an amazingly interesting. Never a dull moment and never a moment where his smile doesn't get the better of me:) So, to the man I love, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! To the father of the two most amazing little boys in my world: WE LOVE YOU DAD! God Bless you and keep you around to chase me around the house for the next...oh...60 years, at least! :-)

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Lutheran guilt...

This morning the devil to came to call. It seems as if he has decided to make every Sunday morning his day to come into the house and stir up things like only he can. Today has been no exception. I had all but decided that we were not going to church this morning, but at 9 am while I am still padding around the house in my jammies....the Lutheran guilt took hold of every ounce of sensibility and sent me to get myself ready for church. Much to the chagrin of my oldest son, who had decided that this morning would be much better left to playing the Wii and loafing around in his jammies. I am pretty sure we were under full assault of the devil and his obstacles this morning, but we made, there, take that you sneaky sultan of sin! I say this partly in jest...but seriously, come over to my house on any given Sunday morning and we're shouting, yelling, arguing, and all out just being ugly to each other.

It so happens that I am not the only one, which I found out this morning...I take some comfort in knowing that I am not the only Sunday church-goer that has walked into 'The Lord's House' after spending the morning negotiating with tyrannical toddlers or screaming unkind epithets at my spouse. Not that I relish in other's misery, it just make me feel like I am not alone to know that the devil makes house-calls elsewhere as well. I am so glad that we persevered and got our butts in the pews, even if it meant we walked in grumbling...we left knowing it was God that gave us the strength to battle our foe this morning and still make it to His house to worship and be thankful to Him!

This week has been one of great challenge on various levels, we are cancelling our vacation to the happiest place on Earth and that leaves me quite stricken with sadness. I can't remember at time where I was more disappointed that I didn't get to drive 16 hours to go on vacation. The drive alone would be daunting, but we were so excited to get to go, we just didn't care. Then came the plumber, the bug man and a whopping hospital bill for J's last trip to the ER...and out went the vacation savings we were piling up for our trip. I haven't quite figured out how I will ever make it up to our dear friend Steph that was treating us to tickets or to my boys that both contend that I am horribly "mean," pray for me, please...

I look around at the people here, the world around me, the friend we have in TN who's husband has brain cancer who is not whining and complaining; and I know it is so self-centered and selfish to complain about something as trivial as a missed's all perspective. I hosted myself a pity party on Saturday night while the guys were off enjoying a pancake supper, while ailing from an aching back and whining to the empty room that life wasn't fair, I was reminded that while people are starving in the world, I have a weight problem. While homeless wander the street at night, I have run out of room for our "stuff"; while I am griping that my boys have too much energy, there is some Mom out there that wishes her daughter who is fighting leukemia could have the energy to get out of bed; while there are people in this very town that have nothing and still have a smile of contentedness on their face, here I am in my home with all the comforts I could ask for with an ugly scowl across my face. I was and am still so humbled sometimes and I thank God that he doesn't smite the heck out of me for pouting and waving my fist at the sky for all the things I don't have while ignoring all the things that I DO have!

Apparently, when I re-read my blog here, the devil makes house-calls to my house more often than just Sunday's praying that God continues to bless us in spite of our selfishness, in spite of our unreasonable demands, in spite of our time the devil makes a house-call, I am going to pray BEFORE I open the door. :-) LOL!

Prayers for a great week! Blessings and Love to all.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The plumber. one of our heroes, is on the speed dial...

I relish our new home, it is beautiful and there are still moments that I walk around a corner to our living room or lay down in my bed and look at the ceiling and think "wow, I can't believe this is my house." Then days like today happen and I think, "ugh...I can't believe this is my house..." contextually very different! The bug man came on Tuesday morning to spray for the ants crawling in the master bath and now, today, again with the plumbing! The nice man that came to fix it (again) ran the damn snake through the whole damn house. I told the hub, "the house it getting roto-rooted" and that was the darn truth! You could hear the snake being drilled into the house through the pipes...lets just say that nap time didn't happen for J, too much going on!

I'd like to say that I am resilient and adept at handling challenges and transitions and change; but the hard truth is I am just not the hero I'd like to be. I have this wonderful friend that is the QUEEN of challenges, she is as everlasting as grocery store birthday cake icing. That deliciously layered on confection that is always sweet and never goes bad, ever...that's her! No matter what heads her way, she laughs in the face of it all, she stays sweet always- she is one of my heroes! (Steph if you're reading this, I love you!) If I could ever have a super-power, I would want the ability to handle it all, all the time, with no stress, no tears, and no need for ice cream or retail therapy. Nevertheless, here I sit eating out of the ice cream carton and wishing for a new pair of impractically beautiful shoes. Ever seen the cartoon where the snowball starts out just perfect snowball fight size at the top of the hill, but by the time it reaches the bottom of the hill it is the giant-sized, tree-engulfing, people-swallowing snowball? That is my today. How do I get out of this giant snowball? I need a hero.

Speaking of heroes, we talked about heroes today during homeschool. We were reading this book about what a hero is and it goes through all these day to day examples, leading the reader to the point that everyone can be a hero to someone. So, I take a moment to ask my son, my student, who is his hero. He looks at me and says, "Dad." I ask our little guy the same question, as he looks on approvingly at his brother he says, "My hero is Bub!" (Bub is what he calls his big brother). As the tears well up in my eyes at the sweetness of it all, I look at my big kid and say "What do you think of that? Did you know you're his hero?" How many of us can point to a person in our lives that is a true hero? I am constantly surrounded with people that seem to be doing rather heroic deeds in the everyday life, unaware of just how amazing they are! It is at moments like today where the most simple task or gesture that makes life incrementally easier; that person is just doing what they always do, but to the one stuck in the snowball -I see a hero!

So, to the everyday heroes that go about their day, doing what they always do...more than likely, there is someone out there that thinks you're pretty darn special for doing what you do! You will notice, neither one of my children said their hero was their "MOM"...funny how that works, huh? Well, I know for sure, my Mom is a hero! :) Maybe its one of those "they'll appreciate me one day" things? LOL!

Prayers for a better day tomorrow. Love and blessings to all!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The kitchen sink...

We've done it! We're moved into our new home in McAlester, OK and we've unpacked the boxes, hung up (most of) the pictures, played in the backyard, fed people in our feels like home. With home ownership also comes the hassles as well. Like our toilet backing up into our bathtub, for example. Can anyone say, ewwwwwwww? One plumber's bill later we're back up and running:) Then the bird that flew into the house (RIP little birdie) or the ants we found in the bathroom...ahhh, life!:)

Homeschooling our 5 year old has had its ups and downs, it has been a learning experience for us all. I have a new found respect for all teachers; not that I didn't before, but this experience has given me insight into how challenging it must be when it is 20 of these little boogers! There was a learning curve that my son and I hit head on...we've emerged a little bruised but really, none worse the wear. It is amazing how much homeschooling has changed the dynamic between my son and his "Mom." It is terribly difficult to transition from Mom to Teacher, and while I am sure there is a delicate balance where you can be both, I have not quite found it yet. I had been praying for patience and a good friend told me that her Mom told her never to pray for patience because your child will always give you more reasons to test your patience. She told me to pray for understanding...

Understanding of what, was my question. Understanding of our relationship and how it is going to work? Or maybe understanding that there is no way in life that everything can ever be "perfect" all the time? Or maybe understanding of why I am so high-strung and then understanding of how to NOT be that way when it comes to my kids? Understanding of why it all seems to matter so much in the moment but when you go back some time later you realize it probably doesn't matter half as much as you thought it did? Probably, I need to pray for understanding of all of it! Lots and lots of understanding!!

I have had the delight and honor of meeting some truly extraordinary women and men in my time here in the Sooner state! I questioned why in the world God would put us in Oklahoma...I was heard on more than one occasion saying, "what is in Oklahoma except for tornadoes?" But, God's purpose was so much bigger than our own. This was a move for a job, but Lord, what this move has meant to our family. God's plan for us has been about so much more than my husband's career! For the first time in our family life we are a family, what a blessing! We have joined a church here and God has used that church and those people to truly bless our lives with great relationships and a stirring of our faith that we've never felt before. The people that we miss remain forever locked into our hearts, minds, prayers, thoughts and the distance sometimes seems unbearable, but now I know more than ever that God's time is God's time and God's plans are God's plans and that He will carry us through the sadness that comes from missing those extraordinary people. I pray continuously for those people that God is doing the same for them in their lives and that they still feel the love we feel for them in every way!

I want to personally thank everyone that has supported us along the way...along our journey to get to this very moment. What each person has contributed and shared and given freely to us has been our very reason to go on when times have been tough and our reason to praise when times have been good! I am so moved by what all of you have done and I could never thank you enough for all that you have been in our lives.

I better run, the pirates are ransacking my house:-) I'm out for now...
Blessings and Love to you ALL!